Can you get the plague from loving someone too much?

Nothing lasts forever, Nobody waits forever.. have you ever noticed? As I wave goodbye, another cycle starts.. Letting go was hard.. In my life's ups & downs she was my highest.. she too is my lowest.. I just discovered that placing your faith and trust in yourself, others, material things, your job or anything else will lead to disappointment.. I trusted myself too much, I admit I went a bit astray.. all of us go through difficult times in our lives, and like a ship in a storm, we need help to remain steady, A ship has an anchor to help it hold steady.. Now I'm trying to lower that anchor.. I love her.. But God's will be done.. I took the risk knowing how things would end up.. It was a long fight.. I was proud of myself.. that somehow in my life.. I loved someone this much.. Now it seems that I don't want to fall in love again, I'm not brave enough to take what chances I may have.. My heart cries out like a siren in the silent night.. waking everyone up.. I can remember a time in my life years ago when I had a negative, hopeless atittude. My whole philosophy was that if I didn't hope for anything good, then I wouldn't be dissappointed when it didn't happen. I had been hurt, and I thought that I could protect myself from more pain by thinking that way.. Finding a way out of here is harder than I thought..so is coming back.. I really don't know what to do.. I've tried everything just to forget her.. I reverie, I just can't find my old me.. I wanna scream.. My world is now sinking with thoughts of you.. I can't even stop crying.. It's like I'm running a 100 miles an hour in the wrong direction.. My world is closing in.. on the inside, but I'm not showing it.. when all I am is crying out I hold it in and fake a smile.. still I'm broken.. I may look HAPPY on the outside.. but if you felt how I felt on the inside then you'd understand.. Is there anyone that fails like I do? Is there anyone that falls? am I the only one who feels this way? Cause when I take a look around, everybody seems so strong.. I know they'll soon discover that I don't belong here.. So I took it all away like everything's okay.. if I make them all believe it maybe I'll believe it too.. I'll play the part again so everyone will see me the way that I see them.